Monday, May 21, 2012
Marriage Counseling
So, I still consider Adam and I "newly weds." Yes, it's been 3 years, but it has been a hell of a 3 years. A week before our big day, Adam's grandmother died, and then we were married, then I had a beautiful baby boy, Ben. Shortly after this, Adam's mom was diagnosed with cancer and died 4 months later. My grandfather and aunt died this year also. And then, just when it seems like things may slow down, I'm pregnant again with Presley. Oh, yes, and then there was Memorial Day of 2011 where our house was completely destroyed by a tornado. Since then, we've been living in Adam's dad's home while he lives in a trailer...yes a trailer...in the front yard. This must be the true definition of HILLBILLY! Anyway, we've had a few stressful things going on, needless to say, we've had little time to focus on our marriage and because of this we've struggled quite a bit. The empty threats of leaving and taking the kids were useless, and the yelling and screaming were also useless, time for counseling! Adam was less than thrilled with this idea, but willing to go along with it to make me happy. This was HUGE! Something for us, finally! Well, after a couple of visits, I spoke up about how frustrating our marriage is when Adam sees everything as "win or lose" and I look at it from the opposite perspective of "we're on the same team sweetie!" When I brought this up to our counselor, he asked Adam if this was an accurate statement. Adam agreed that it was. Our counselor began laughing at Adam telling him that marriage isn't about winning and losing, but about compromise and understanding. Finally, a man was able to explain to Adam that he was WRONG! As I quietly watched Adam's reaction to this, I kept a straight face, however in my head I was performing backflips! I couldn't help but thinking "I WIN, I WIN, I WIN!" Maybe it is more about "winning and losing" than I had previously thought!
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I absolutely love this post because I feel I would be thinking the exact same thing! It can feel very rewarding when you see the "lightbulb" go on in their head!!
ReplyDeleteIt’s good to know that there are couples who are willing to save their marriage and relationship. Marriage is a life-long commitment. And yes, it could get frustrating at times, especially with all the trials that test the relationship. But what is important is both parties are open to resolve the issue. Whether doing it by yourselves or seeking the help of a professional, knowing that you are willing to do something to salvage the relationship is good enough. [Russell Dill]
ReplyDeleteI saw in your most recent posts that you guys have come a long way. This entry right here is always good to look back to, and just be thankful that you fought for your marriage. I agree with Russell that marriage is indeed a lot of work. Kudos to you for never giving up on each other and making things work!
ReplyDelete- Tyler Goodwin
Thank you for the comments, I do appreciate the kind words! Yes, we have come a long way and I've learned that most marriages are often roller coaster rides for a few years! It's all part of the fun right?
ReplyDeleteHey there! This is a good read. Keep it up! I will be looking forward to visit your page again and for your other posts as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about marital counseling in your area. I'm glad to stop by your site and know more about marital counseling.
ReplyDeleteWith increasing modernization or westernization in many parts of the world and the continuous shift towards isolated nuclear families the trend is towards trained and accredited relationship counselors or couple therapists. Sometimes volunteers are trained by either the Government or social service institutions to help those who are in need of family or marital counseling. Many communities and government departments have their own team of trained voluntary and professional relationship counselors. Similar services are operated by many universities and colleges, sometimes staffed by volunteers from among the student peer group. Some large companies maintain a full-time professional counseling staff to facilitate smoother interactions between corporate employees, to minimize the negative effects that personal difficulties might have on work performance.
A marital relationship is being compromised or threatened and the couple is enlisting the help of a third-party to assist them either to restore a sense of commitment to and well-being in the relationship, or to facilitate a functional termination of the relationship.
marital counseling ma