21 Again...!?!

It's 9:30 pm, I'm living off campus, the walk to the frat party is 10 minutes. I need to account for the time it takes to put my make up on, my fake eyelashes, and the sexiest jeans with the cute shirt that shows just enough of my back when I dance to make the guys stare. Okay 10:30pm, if we leave now we'll be just in time to be fashionably late, you remember this, the kind of late where people juuuust start to wonder if you're going to show up! 10:45-Grand entrance! "LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION" when I walk into the room! Remember this? What the hell happened to us? Although we thought at that time that we were women who ruled the world, it is now that I see what "womanhood" actually is for many of us. I don't want to completely define it because I think that womanhood is something that is just a little different for everybody, but for me it was 6 months ago when Presley was born that I realized what it was to be a woman. Although she is my second child, something finally clicked. Maybe it was the fact that it was a completely natural birth (I drove myself to the hospital from work at 4pm and had the baby at 7:21pm...I know, I rock!) or the realization that I now have 2 children and a husband and our family has grown, I can't pinpoint it exactly, but it happened. I became....my mother! The person that I swore I would never be like, the person that I made fun of for going to bed at 8:45pm, and the person that I fought with non-stop from age 13-19. The feelings of guilt were with me for a while because for 27 years, I don't think that I ever really appreciated her. I get it now Mom, I really get it! Now it's me that falls asleep on the couch if I try to stay up to watch tv, it's me that argues with my husband who I'm so in love with, but have forgotten how to show it, and it's me that continuously thinks about my kids' future and what I can give up so they can have the most amazing life ever. I always thought that success was a well-paying job, a huge house with lots of guest bedrooms, great kids, great marriage, the whole package. I've learned that success is happiness. I feel successful. I have a very small house, no spare bedrooms, 2 wonderful children, an amazing husband who I love more than he'll ever understand, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 rabbits. I live in a small town. I love my family. I love Adam's family and most importantly I love myself. Thank you Mom, I get it.

My mother-in-law before she passed and my mom. Love you both.