You Deserve It

            As a bit of a belated birthday gift, I surprised my mother with a facial today. I knew she had never had one, wouldn’t go for it, and may even put up a fuss…and I was right. It’s a good thing I simply told her that I was taking her somewhere and that she needed to be at my house and ready to go by 9:45 am. The facial was scheduled for 10:00am. This particular facial included a pampering massage of the chest, arms, hands, and feet along with all of the other amazing things that will be done to your face. Once we arrived, I warned her that she might fall asleep and she might drool, it’s okay…it happens to the best of us! Hesitantly, she followed the specialist back to the magical room of rest and relaxation. After about an hour, she reappeared…slowly walking down the hall as if she were in a drunken stupor. It was quite a sight to see, and when she finally reached the waiting area where I was sitting and snickering at her, she simply said, “ahhhh.” I asked her how it was, she loved it of course and then said something that was a bit unnerving to me, “The whole time I was in there, I was thinking why me? This shouldn’t be happening to me.”  I reassured her that yes, it should, she deserved it, and she should do things for herself more often. I thought about this comment all day, of course, letting it stew and grow and raise my anxiety…yeah, I have a difficult time letting things go, just ask my husband…stop judging! Anyway, I began to wonder how many other women, especially from my mother’s generation, feel so undeserving of a little bit of pampering?  My mother has worked since her young teenage years, earned a BA and then MA in the teaching profession, successfully raised 3 amazing children (the third one being most amazing), put those same three children through college,  taught hundreds of children, and adults alike to read, write, count, listen, and become successful and productive citizens, stayed faithful in her 40+ year marriage to my father,  nurtured countless sick animals back to health on her farm, and cooked meals and hand-washed dishes every single day for those 40+ years that she’s been married. She has hosted numerous birthdays, Christmas celebrations, Thanksgivings and Easters at her house. She has trudged her way through snow, mud, and thunderstorms every single day to feed and water all of the horses, cats, dogs, goats and every other animal that one of her three children left behind when they went off to college…and throughout all of this, I don’t remember a complaint.  And she doesn’t think she deserves an hour long facial?  To that I say...What the Hell?                                                    

 I think that so many women have let themselves become oblivious to their own needs. No, a facial isn’t necessarily a NEED, but time to reflect upon your day, or your week, is a need. I think that it’s good to sit back and think about yourself once in a while, or often, whatever you feel fit! Personally, I haven’t yet let myself get to the point where I believe that I’m undeserving, if I don’t get my monthly, or at very minimum my bi-monthly pedicure I turn into the mommy and wife from hell. I think that as women, we do a lot, and the majority of the “a lot” is for other people. Some people need the care, some people expect the care, and others just simply demand the care, any way you want to look at it, much of what so many women do is for someone other than herself. So women…go ahead, take a friend, or go by yourself…go for a silent walk in the woods, but don’t take the stroller. Go for a drive, but turn off the kid music. Go have some dessert and drinks, and don’t take your husband. And for heaven’s sake, go get a damn facial once in a while…you deserve it!