Thursday, August 23, 2012

2 Lessons about Men...from Mom


            I still consider myself “new” to this whole marriage thing. I started dating in high school and it wasn’t until I was out of college and into my first real job that I met the man that is now my husband. So, I dated for a few years, different people on and off and in doing so I learned quite a lot about what I wanted in a man, and what I didn’t, how to be in a relationship, and how and how not to love somebody. Even with all of the things that I learned throughout all of my dating experiences, I am still not always good at being married. I do try, but you see, I’m a selfish person and often times I want what I want, and I want it NOW. A little impulsivity never hurt anyone! I should give my husband some credit here because although I may not always get what I want instantly, I usually end up getting what I want eventually, I’m just not sure he realizes this yet…but that’s okay!  Let me elaborate….

As I’ve mentioned before, I had an amazing childhood, but what I want to discuss goes far beyond all of my memories of riding ponies, running free on my parent’s 100+ acre farm, or being the annoying little sister that always listened in on my brother’s private phone calls. I have so many fond memories of the smirks, whispered comments, and eye rolls that my mother and I would share behind my dad’s back! Don’t get me wrong, this is NOT disrespect….it is pure and simple SURVIVAL when living with a man! My poor mother had lived in a house full of boys for about 12 years before I was born, and then about 12 more years until I was able to understand her gestures that often illustrated her frustration, annoyance, or sarcasm!  There were two survival techniques in particular that my mother taught me when dealing with a man.

1. ALWAYS make a man think that it’s his idea! You may be asking, “What is his idea?” Well  ladies, anything and everything. My mom was right, and I never forgot it. For instance, if I mention to Adam that we should go out to dinner he usually comes up with some reason as to why we can’t, or shouldn’t on that particular night. However, if I call him on my way home from work and ever-so-caringly ask him what he’d like for dinner and then slyly mention that I haven’t been to the grocery store lately, he will suggest going out to dinner….NEVER FAILS! It’s a win-win situation…I got what I wanted, and he gets credit for his BRILLIANT idea!

2.  ALWAYS make sure that you will be financially stable if for some reason you lost your other half. I’m sure that this was a cunning suggestion that my mom planted in my head to encourage me to go to college and prepare myself for a career that paid well, and it worked. I’ve never had to financially depend on anyone else, aside from my parents when I was a child. I love this about myself, and I love that my mom planted this seed in my head. I also love my “secret” bank account at a completely separate bank that NOBODY else has access to! Typically, this gets used up on “wants” of mine rather than needs, but I feel secure knowing that it’s there…and completely untouchable to anyone but me!
       So, along with the day to day survival techniques that we must have, keep in mind the two things that my mother taught me as a little girl! It’s always HIS idea, and open a secret “shopping” account, it'll come in very handy when you "need" that next new pair of shoes! Both of these are brilliant…thanks mom!

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