It wouldn't Flush

            I remember the first day meeting Adam’s dad. He had showed up at Adam’s house, where we had been hanging out after work on a regular basis. Adam went outside to meet him because he knew I wasn’t quite ready to “meet the parents” yet. I figured that they would talk for a little while, and I knew this was going to be my only real private time to use the bathroom. Private to me means much more than just the bathroom door being closed, I needed an empty house. As soon as Adam had walked outside to meet his dad, I rushed into the bathroom, did my business, flushed...and it didn’t go down. Panic started to take over, I flushed again…nothing except more water. One more flush, now every horrible thought is going through my head.

1. There’s no plunger to be found

2. Poop water is going to be all over the floor.

3. It smells.

4. Adam’s going to have to look at my poop.

                        And….

5. I’m going to have to interrupt the conversation between my brand new boyfriend and his father to tell Adam that I’ve clogged the toilet. (THAT’S NOT EMBARASSING AT ALL…OMG)

            I took a few deep breaths, outside of the bathroom of course, tried to exhale all of the red out of my face, and went for it. I hesitantly walked outside where I was introduced to Adam’s dad for the very first time. After saying our hellos and greetings, our conversation was as follows:

Me: “There’s something wrong with the toilet.” (Hoping that he’d take the hint and cut his conversation short.)

Adam: “What’s wrong with it.”

Me:  “Umm…it won’t flush?!”

Adam: “Why won’t it flush?”

Me: (I’m more mortified than ever right now)  “Because it’s clogged.”

Adam: “What’d you do, pee or poop?”

Me: “Um…can you just come look at the toilet please?”

And finally, he did. After going through this embarrassment, now I have to face Adam looking at my poop. I was sure that after that day, I’d never be invited back to hang out at his house, and if I was by chance invited back, I was going to buy a brand new, super flushing toilet to bring back with me!  Adam was able to be a gentleman about the issue, well…as gentlemanly as one can be after looking at his new girlfriend’s poop. I was invited back to his house, and his dad has NEVER brought up the first time we met…and now Adam and I are married. But I still require complete privacy before entering the bathroom….Since that horrible day we’ve bought a new toilet that works excellent, and a plunger is kept handy next to the fancy new toilet…just in case!

Ohhhh....shit!