Some things you need to know...Part 1

                I specifically remember when I was a sophomore in college, I had a handful of girlfriends over, and I’m not sure how the topic came about, but it did….do women really poop during childbirth? This could not be true, I had to call my mom. So, with my friends surrounding me, I was about to prove the point that this is a complete myth. My mother has given birth to 3 children, one little one, one fat one, and then of course…a perfect one, she would be able to set us all straight.

Me: “Hey Mom, we have a weird question for you.”

Mom:  “Okay.”

Me: “Do women really poop during childbirth?”

Mom: (laughing) “Yes, they can.”

And that was all I needed to hear. I was never going to have children. I never forgot that, and it’s almost embarrassing to admit that I was thankful that I had a C-Section with my first child because the thing that scared me most was my husband watching me poop and me not knowing it happened. Awkward! Now, after two births, one c-section, one natural, I have learned that there are quite a few things that people do not tell expectant mothers…or expectant fathers for that matter.  After taking a small poll here is what I came up with….

1. Yes, many women do, in fact, poop during childbirth. You may never feel it, or even notice that it happened because everyone around you is embarrassed for you and they’ll never tell….unless you have a husband like mine.  Your body often has a natural was of cleaning itself out a few days before you go into labor, often times you may make many trips to the bathroom as part of the cleansing process, or maybe you just will not feel hungry.  The few days prior to each of my children being born I lost my appetite, but then again…I love food, so I ignored that natural appetite suppressant and continued to eat, you can imagine the outcome.

2. After childbirth, you may continue to bleed for several weeks. This is normal…but what is not normal is the size of the pads that they give you at the hospital. These pads measure approximately 14 inches by 8 inches. No, they don’t actually fit inside your underwear, they bunch up, and don’t even try walking around with those…I would have rather worn depends. At least I’ll know what to pack in my bag for my next baby!

3. Yes, your husband will want to be intimate with you again. Although he may tell you, “it can’t be any different than a cow giving birth,” it is. And yes, my husband told me that…he used to work on a dairy farm. Apparently another human making its way into the world by way of your wife’s  “hoohoo” has no impact on a man’s sex drive. He’ll be marking the calendar for those next 6 weeks to pass before you get the “okay” from the doctor to resume “normal activity.”

4. Day 4-5 after giving birth you are in horrible pain. Your stomach is cramping, it hurts to walk, move, anything...you should head to the bathroom. You probably need to poop. Yes, it's probably the scariest thing you've ever had to do, aside from actually birthing your child, and it may hurt a little...but the end result will do wonders for your stomach cramps.

5.   Finally…yes, it’s scary, but it’s not that bad. At least it wasn’t for me. I refused to be a screaming banshee during childbirth. As the nurse watched a severe contraction on the monitor my reaction, with a grimaced face, was “ouch.” Did I want to scream and tell my husband how much of an idiot I thought he was, and yell at the world…yes, but I refused. Women were built to give birth, and if it becomes difficult…they’ll do a c-section! It will all be over in a matter of time and you’ll quickly forget how horrible it seemed. Keep in mind, if it was THAT BAD, women would never have a second child!