What Did You Think Would Happen?

I came across this ecard and thought it was hilarious, probably because there is so much truth in it! I posted it to facebook and emailed it to all of my friends, but then continued to think about it throughout the night. The break down in society happened when people went from a good old fashioned diaper puff, to a timeout, at least that’s my opinion, and I’ve found my opinion to be right about 98% of the time! Please don’t take offense to this if you are a “timer-outer”, because I do believe that this can be a very effective consequence if used correctly, and I know that it has to be used in certain circumstances such as daycare facilities, or if you are in ANY PUBLIC PLACE and don’t want 13 strangers to call CPS or the police on you. I have to say though, I think that time outs are often used to the point where they become very ineffective. I was almost, yes almost, offended about 9 months ago at one of Ben’s regular well-child checkups when the doctor felt the need to ask us what type of discipline we used. I remember it like it was yesterday, Adam and I looked at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. If we tell him that we have spanked our child will we instantly have our parental rights terminated?? I’m pretty sure after the “deer in the headlights” stare I jumped back to reality and said “We use time-outs!” Remember, that’s only a half-lie since I do also use time-outs, actually it’s probably only 1/8^th of a lie because it’s very rare that we have to do anything physical with Ben, he really is a good boy most of the time, I’m lucky. Anyway, after I threw out my 1/8^th of a lie, the tension in the room evaporated, Adam and I both took a deep breath, and the doctor reassured us that he was happy with that and that “there really is no room in today’s world for corporal punishment.” We escaped the appointment with full custody of Ben, knowing well that a swat to a diapered bottom isn’t really corporal punishment and that we are still better parents than all of our friends, at least that’s what we tell ourselves behind our friend’s backs. You know that you do this too so stop judging me!

Anyway, I realize that doctors, teachers, daycare providers, friends and family all help to raise a child, I truly believe that it takes a village, but when did my parenting ability and skills become EVERYONE’S business? I do appreciate hints, tips, and advice that often come from mothers or friends who have already “been through it,” but I want my doctor to provide health care, my daycare provider to provide care, and teachers to educate. In many of the professions that I have had, I’ve been handed the responsibility of being a mandatory reporter for any suspected neglect or abuse so I understand why many of these people do report issues….but c’mon, there’s  HUGE difference between a hand slap or swat on a diapered bottom and actual abuse and neglect. To this day, my mom swears that I was a good child (excluding my teenage years) and that she only spanked me a couple of times. Let me tell you though, those couple of times stuck with me and I never misbehaved because I didn’t want to be spanked again! Now, if it were a time out, eh…those are over in a couple of minutes…but a spanking, THAT HURTS or at least hurts your pride, even as a 3 year old!  My parents were not abusers, nor were they power hungry, but they were good parents and they believed in rules and discipline, and they’ve passed that on to their children. I love and respect my parents and family…a lot more than I’ve seen many “non-disciplined” children. I would never push my mom, punch my dad, steal money from a wallet or purse...all because of the rules and morals that were set when I was very young…and I know that back in the day there were no timeouts! So, as the picture says…What did you think would happen when you took away our parent’s rights to beat our asses?