Of course you should have another baby!!!

            When you’re done, you’re done…right? I’ve had several women tell me this about having children.  Something internally tells us when it’s time to become pregnant, and apparently something internally also tells us when we’re done! I haven’t yet felt the “when you’re done, you’re done” feeling, a huge disappointment to my husband and contrary to what he believes, we can’t help this…it’s good old Mother Nature doing her job. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, pregnancies and miscarriages alike, at least that’s what I told myself when I had a miscarriage before I became pregnant with my two kiddos. It seems logical. Anyway, what happens when you have a husband like mine, and I know many of you do, that believes “all decisions need to be made based on right or wrong, not feelings?”

            The conversation came up this weekend during one of our extended car rides. This is always a great time to talk because it is inevitable that the kids will both fall asleep and Adam can’t physically escape the conversation….even though his mind is wrapped up in re-playing the 3 softball games that he and his team have just finished playing. I asked him what he thought about some friends of ours wanting to have a third child. Adam promptly stated that with all of the new tax and healthcare changes, it would be crazy to have another child. Honestly, he’s probably right. I know that many out there float around in the same financial boat as we do, getting by with little money to spare, and NOTHING expensive better come up because…well, IT JUST BETTER NOT! At this time, I really cannot imagine paying for daycare for a third child, or buying more food, or more diapers. But…the financial aspect of it doesn’t seem to change Mother Nature’s mind or a women’s biological clock when it comes to wanting another baby. I’m not sure what side to take on this matter, or what to tell my friends when they ask, “should I have another baby?” Obviously this is never my decision when it comes to friends, however women always ask their friends this question, and ALL women always answer with, “YES, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD!” Right and wrong flies out the window when the thought of a new baby enters the picture, and when you think of a potential new baby, you immediately imagine the smell of a new baby, and the sound of their little tiny breaths….and, “YES, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER BABY!!!!” It’s always great to watch your friends have new babies. You get to hold and play with and hear the stories without losing all of the sleep! But then it happens, you eventually catch the fever and you want another baby…and the little voice (your husband) in your head replays over and over again, “we can’t afford it.” You know that he’s probably right, but the predicament arises when we have to make the decision to act upon our feelings or give up on our feelings and go with what we think we can afford.

            I think that within 2-4 years, I may be facing this exact predicament. It’s sad that we have to base our family size on the economy today, but is that really the smart thing to do? I really do believe that Mother Nature knows what she’s doing. If she wants  you to have another baby, you probably will, and the more steps you take to prevent that, the more unhealthy you may become, maybe not physically, but emotionally…will you ever forgive yourself for not having that third baby? Will you always have regrets? I don’t know the answers to these questions, maybe I will in a few years so we’ll call this a “to be continued” for now. But I really do wonder what the best decision is?