Despite our best efforts...

            Despite our best efforts to teach our kids manners, language, and life skills they still tend to slip up at times by farting in public, mispronouncing a common word, and making the occasional bad decision. It happens to the best of us, well not me, but my husband is guilty of all three of those things for sure! It seems that from day one of becoming a parent we worry about what this child will become as an adult, and we take 100% responsibility for everything from birth onward. When Benji was a baby I began working to teach him sign language at about 6 months old, I wanted him to have a jump on language. All this did for him was delay his verbalizing of words…but he was great at signing! Kidding, I do believe that signing was very important and cut down on a lot of frustration for him, but apparently it wasn’t important enough for me to teach it to my second child…poor little Presley. She’s bound to be an uptight frustrated adult, all because I lacked the time to teach her sign language. I took Benji to baby classes at the local library one night per week…we listened to books, sang, bounced and socialized…he’s still shy. As a baby, we placed Ben in the best daycare around with the highest of recommendations…it went bankrupt and closed. This, however was a blessing in disguise because we’ve since found an in-home daycare that we love and trust more than the “best daycare in town.” 

            You see, we are constantly hounding our children to become smarter, more athletic, nicer, more social…blah blah blah. We’re worried if they aren’t talking “on time” or walking “on time.” Sometimes we pick them up from daycare, bring them home and try to fill their brains with more knowledge than one little person can absorb on a given day…I have been guilty of this. We’re stuck in a society of competition, not that I don’t believe there shouldn’t be a score in tee-ball (BECAUSE THERE SHOULD), but I think we’re constantly comparing our children. I remember being so frantic when a friend of mine told me that her almost 3 year old was reading. I rushed home, ordered some LeapFrog educational DVDs and anxiously waited for them to arrive in the mail. When they did, that’s what Benji watched on tv. That didn’t last long, I realized that he will read when he is ready to read, and when he is ready to learn I will do everything I possibly can to foster his interest and encourage him. We still continue to read books before bed every night, I think that’s sufficient at this age.

            Every once in a while I doubt myself, and if you are a parent I’m sure you know the feeling all too well. I start to wonder about everything that I have just mentioned…and am I really doing enough for my child? Do I have him in enough recreational programs, do we read enough, do I take advantage of enough teachable moments? And then all of my doubts again vanish when we’re driving along in the car and the two landmarks that Ben jumps up and points out are McDonalds and The Dark Horse Bar. First, this made me feel like mother of the year…NOT. And then I realized that he loves McDonalds because EVERY KID loves McDonalds. He points the golden arches out no matter what town we are in…and he loves the Dark Horse because he is in love with the live music that he sees when we go there. (Yes, we take our kids to a bar.) Although McDonalds and the Dark Horse are not significant educational landmarks in his life (at least I hope not), he is learning at his own pace…and he knows what makes himself happy…McNuggets and the Bar.