Potty Trained

Yesterday my son had a doctors appointment and it was out of town, near an outlet mall.  OBVIOUSLY, it was only NECESSARY that when we left the dr's we should head to the outlet mall, right?!

For those of you who don't know me, shopping is therapy for me.  Relieves stress and makes me feel like me, not like a mom, or Kurt's wife, or Kristi's sister, but me-this is what I was born to do. . .really, it just doesn't pay.

Ok, getting off track.  My husband decided he'd stay in the car with Kendall as Tyler and I jotted in and out of stores. . .jotted takes on a different meaning when you are shopping with a 3 year old boy, but we tried.

In our 1st store, Tyler looks at me and says, mom, I got poop in my butt.  Great, I thought, and I said, as any mom would say, you sure Buddy? You got to poop?  he said, no, I can wait til I get home and I can have my own seat.  Again, I said, you sure?  He said yeah, I don't have to poop anymore.  WHEW! Major relief!! I mean, there are times when I'm NOT thankful my son potty trained so easily and they are always those moments when I am shopping and he has to poop.  But, we did it-we got out of that 1!

We went to 3 more stores-him acting crazy and me acting like the perfect mother and him responding as though I was.  I'm on a major high at this time, sales, outlet mall, compliant son. . .then it happens.  

Our 4th store and he again says, mom, I have to poop.  So I ask the manager if there is a bathroom and she points to the back room.  We go into the bathroom and I tell him to sit on the toilet paper I have just covered the toilet with.  Then I told him to wait to push (because I didn't make him stand and pee first and I didn't want him spraying up).  I stood up to get a thick pad of paper towels to place in front of him so to avoid a mess and as I kneel down, before I get the towels in place he pushes.  Yup, right at me.  Did I mention we were at an outlet mall?  Did I mention that we were a ways from home?  My entire arm was soaked in pee-my long sleeved tshirt was completely wet. . .almost like he AIMED at my arm.  His underwear were soaked and his jeans got a little.  The floor was a mess!  He immediately started apologizing, what do u say?  I just said, it's ok, Tyler, it's ok.  I stood up and grabbed more paper towels.  I loaded my sleeves with towels and went to work on the floor.  After everything was wiped up, floor soaped down, Tyler's underwear removed, and Tyler and I's hands clean, we left the bathroom. Did I mention Tyler decided he didn't have to poop?  Yeah.  And, brought to an abrupt stop and it was time to go home.  Yay, Tyler is potty trained. . . . .

Much too Selfish...Sometimes

          There comes a point most days where I realize that I am far too selfish to be a parent. Here are a few examples:

1. When I allow your children to have only a few pieces of Halloween candy after convincing them that the penny candy is “the best” and then eating all of the chocolate when they aren’t looking.

2. When I strategically hide the last chocolate chip cookie on top of the refrigerator until after the kids go to bed, and then justify my action by convincing myself that I “forgot to offer it to the kids.”

3. When I put my kids to bed early just so I can watch the tv shows that I want instead of Batman cartoons.

4. When I have my three year old call his grandparents to ask if he can come visit, so I can go shopping by myself. Grandparents never say no to a child.

5. When I take a bite of their mac and cheese because I’ve already finished mine, and then refuse to share anything off of my own plate.

6. When I get out of work early, but still don’t pick my kids up from daycare until 5 minutes before it closes or when I get myself dressed like I am going to go to work so my provider doesn’t judge me, then skip work and leave the kids at daycare while I take the day off!

7. When I convince Ben to take a nap on the weekends because “it’s fun” just so I can take a nap too.

I realize that the older my children get, the less I’ll be able to get away with these things. I know some of you are judging me right now, but most of you have done at least one of these things…and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I have done all of these at one time or another. I really hope that I don’t scar my kids too badly for the rest of their lives, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them, right? Right!!! At least I hope not.    

Don't worry, that's a soda in my hand.

Super Human

            I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her first child. She’s at the point in her pregnancy when the thought of pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a hole that is the size of a golf ball becomes a reality. Remember those days? Scary. I tried to explain to her that it’s not as bad as it sounds, or looks, and people have been doing this for hundreds of years….and she can have an epidural if she chooses! Should be a piece of cake! Still nervous I tried to change the subject to a positive aspect of pregnancy…the Super Human strength that you gain a few days or weeks before the baby is born. This is typically gone as quickly as it arrived, but in those few days, or hours, I’m quite definite that a woman could move a 2 ton cargo train, or at least have it clean enough to eat off the floor. I remember when this hit me a couple of weeks before Benji was born. Adam was away at a softball tournament and I was at that stage of my pregnancy where your body and mind work together to prevent you from sleeping…and it hit. I just NEEDED to move a crib and 2 big adult sized dressers, I NEEDED to vacuum every inch of the carpet, wash all of the curtains in the whole house, wash and fold all of the new baby clothes, and then separate them into totes labeled by sizes, re-fill one dresser with all of the newborn clothes that I had just accumulated, fill the other dresser with all of my clothes that I had taken out of the dresser that would now become Benji’s, carry a bookshelf or two up the hardwood stairs, oh and then clean all of the stairs, pack a diaper bag, pack a hospital bag, open the baby dresser again to look at all of the clothes and re-arrange the sock drawer, and then after that hour was up…go rest for a few minutes in front of the tv because my back was very sore. I have never used cocaine, however I think the effects are similar. After finally getting a restful night, and then loading up with Tylenol the next day, (I know Tylenol doesn’t really work, but that’s the only thing pregos can take) I felt the urge to sanitize the kitchen. I didn’t feel any super human strength, I must have used it all the night before, but I did have the energy of that annoying person at the office who drinks 14 cups of coffee during the day. Therefore, I cleaned. I bleached and sanitized, and when the kitchen was sparkling, I moved to the bathroom. Don’t worry, I turned the fans on and opened all of the windows, although the fumes were still very strong. In this frenzy the “green” cleaners were not going to cut it…I needed bleach dammit!

            So, you see…don’t be scared of what is about to happen to your body, embrace the fact that you will NEVER have a house as clean as you do after your nesting instinct kicks in, you’ll NEVER be as strong as you were for those couple of hours, and you’ll NEVER get so much accomplished in that small amount of time…especially after the baby is born!

Mommy's Juice

 

            Adam had class tonight, I had done everything right, aside from the small glitch in the crock-pot meal that I had planned for dinner, but that’s minor, and it ended up working out anyway. I had the babysitter on backup so I could continue with my half-marathon training without leaving the kiddos supervised by the dogs.  My batman mask was on, and a makeshift cape made out of Ben’s blanket. I was Batgirl “because you’re a girl” and Ben was Robin, all decked out in his cowboy boots, cape, and eye mask. Dogs were fed, cats fed, bunnies fed, and our dinner was being divided onto plates…yes, Batgirl makes a mean crock-pot chicken teriyaki. Presley inhaled the majority of her food, Ben ate his usual 4 bites because he “hates food,” and I was rather pleased with my creation and quickly cleaned my plate. We cleaned up our dinner mess, Robin entered the outside world to go “fly” around in the backyard, I cleaned Presley off, and the dogs cleaned the floor. After a short while of playing and reading books to little Presley, it was time for her to head to bed, she had missed her nap today and was ready for some much needed rest. She was put to bed without a fuss, and I headed back downstairs to find Robin. Mask back on, cape tied tight, I was ready to roll…at least for a few minutes. After those few minutes were up, I needed to get ready for my run, my father-in-law, Benji’s grandpa would arrive shortly for babysitting duties. I was frantically running around the house trying to find running clothes that would be sufficient for the cool weather, and as I came upstairs from the basement my father-in-law was there…I was still in Batgirl attire! Ben was in the bathroom, so yeah…I looked like a maniac wandering through the house dressed as Batgirl without a purpose. I explained, and he laughed. I assured him that I do not normally dress as a superhero! One embarrassing moment down…one to go. After retiring from Batgirl for the evening, I put my running clothes on, and was close to heading out the door when Benji began to explain to his grandpa about the juice that Tiffany and Mommy drink. (Tiffany is my friend, current running partner, and lives very nearby…so we see a lot of each other.) I assumed that Ben was trying to tell his grandpa about the V8 Splash energy drinks that I often have before I run so I opened the refrigerator and held one up. He assured us that he was not talking about that kind of juice. I held up my water bottles that I run with, not those either. He swiftly made his way to the fridge, opened the freezer door and pulled out a Daily’s frozen alcohol pouch, carried it toward his grandpa and said, “this is the juice that mommy and Tiffany drink!” His grandpa got a good laugh out of that, I felt like mother of the year, and I assured Ben that those were in fact the juices that Mommy and Tiffany drink and that they are only for big people. Second embarrassment of the evening…over!

Mommy's Juice!

 

I learned that at age 0

            As I sat at a stoplight and observed a woman who was walking throw her trash onto the ground as she was finished with it, I was appalled.  It isn’t often that another grown person saddens me, but her action did. As I sat and became more disgusted with the fact that she is what we refer to in our household as a “litterbug,” I thought about everything that her parents neglected to teach her and once again, breathed a sigh of relief in what my parents did instill in me. I’m quite sure that I was taught to take care of my trash at…oh…age 0! My mom did allow me to live in my own pigsty of a bedroom, however I wasn’t allowed to leave a mess anywhere in the rest of the house, let alone in public. I would have had my butt swatted so fast if I would have thrown trash out of the car window or dropped my gum wrapper along a sidewalk, and there it is…NO DISCIPLINE.

            Forgive me for frequently re-visiting this topic, but my spankings as a child are still held very near and dear to my heart! I don’t want to bash any parents by some of the things I will say, but remember…this is solely my opinion.

1. Empty threats throughout a child’s lifetime set them up for an adulthood being un-accepting of consequences. I’m sure you can think of someone who fits into this category. It is NEVER his/her own fault…and if they do accept a portion of the responsibility for their action, it is always justifiable! C’mon parents…you are the big person, your child is the little person. If you say you’re going to spank them, SPANK THEM. If you say you’re going to take their toy away….TAKE IT AWAY!

2. Kids throw fits. Often. And yes, it can be very embarrassing, especially when you’re somewhere and every other kid seems to be acting like perfection! Don’t give in…let them throw a fit. Again, you’re the big person, your child is the little person…you do not need to buy them candy every time you go to the grocery store just so they’ll be quiet. Giving in now only reinforces the fact that the more often they throw a fit, the more often they will, indeed get ANYTHING THEY WANT! I promise you, the less you give into these fits and melt-downs, the less they will occur…eventually!

3. It’s okay to say no. We, as adults, do not get everything that we want…neither should a child. I realize that it’s often very hard to say no, especially when you have the means to “give your child more than you had,” but it’s good for them. I never believed my parents when they said this to me, but it’s true. Saying no to a new toy will NOT scar a child for life, saying yes to every request WILL give your child a sense of entitlement. This is rarely a good thing.

            There, I’ve said it. Yes, there are millions of more parenting techniques that I live by, but these were the three main ones on my mind tonight. Don’t be mad, and if you are…oh well, I’ll post something a little lighter tomorrow!

A Pillow?

     I went to the gym at 6 a.m. yesterday to go to a weigh-lifting class.  Although working out is supposed to get the energy flowing, after ward I felt like I was going to crumple.  A long day at work 7:30-4 in heels and a dress and I thought the day would never end.  Ran some errands around town for both my hubby and I and got home around 5 p.m. 

     I walked in, kicked off my shoes, and thanked God that the kids were taking a late nap!  I was exhausted!  I picked up an 'OK' magazine and then my dog, Fanci, started barking!!! AUGH!!!!  Awake, yup, now the kids were awake.  Still hoping that maybe they would just sit and be quiet in their rooms, I sat on the couch with a heavy sigh. . .5 minutes, I just want 5 minutes, I thought to myself. . .then Tyler came teetering into the living room and when I saw his sweet angelic sleepy face, I couldn't help but smile and my heart was overjoyed!  I opened my arms and when he ran into them I scooped him up and pulled him into my lap.  We could both hear Kendall screaming but I told Tyler, "we are going to cuddle for 5 minutes and then I'll go get sister".  He laid his head on my belly. . .then sat up and fluffed by belly. . .then he put his head back on my stomach with his hand supporting his chin. . .WHAT?  A pillow? He fluffed my fat into a comfortable pillow!

     When getting up at 5 a.m. in the morning to go to the gym to look better, having my belly fluffed into a pillow is the LAST thing I want to happen when I get home!  Dang. . . .well, I skipped the gym this morning and I think I'll be getting Dairy Queen this evening so . . .BOO-YAH!

Despite our best efforts...

            Despite our best efforts to teach our kids manners, language, and life skills they still tend to slip up at times by farting in public, mispronouncing a common word, and making the occasional bad decision. It happens to the best of us, well not me, but my husband is guilty of all three of those things for sure! It seems that from day one of becoming a parent we worry about what this child will become as an adult, and we take 100% responsibility for everything from birth onward. When Benji was a baby I began working to teach him sign language at about 6 months old, I wanted him to have a jump on language. All this did for him was delay his verbalizing of words…but he was great at signing! Kidding, I do believe that signing was very important and cut down on a lot of frustration for him, but apparently it wasn’t important enough for me to teach it to my second child…poor little Presley. She’s bound to be an uptight frustrated adult, all because I lacked the time to teach her sign language. I took Benji to baby classes at the local library one night per week…we listened to books, sang, bounced and socialized…he’s still shy. As a baby, we placed Ben in the best daycare around with the highest of recommendations…it went bankrupt and closed. This, however was a blessing in disguise because we’ve since found an in-home daycare that we love and trust more than the “best daycare in town.” 

            You see, we are constantly hounding our children to become smarter, more athletic, nicer, more social…blah blah blah. We’re worried if they aren’t talking “on time” or walking “on time.” Sometimes we pick them up from daycare, bring them home and try to fill their brains with more knowledge than one little person can absorb on a given day…I have been guilty of this. We’re stuck in a society of competition, not that I don’t believe there shouldn’t be a score in tee-ball (BECAUSE THERE SHOULD), but I think we’re constantly comparing our children. I remember being so frantic when a friend of mine told me that her almost 3 year old was reading. I rushed home, ordered some LeapFrog educational DVDs and anxiously waited for them to arrive in the mail. When they did, that’s what Benji watched on tv. That didn’t last long, I realized that he will read when he is ready to read, and when he is ready to learn I will do everything I possibly can to foster his interest and encourage him. We still continue to read books before bed every night, I think that’s sufficient at this age.

            Every once in a while I doubt myself, and if you are a parent I’m sure you know the feeling all too well. I start to wonder about everything that I have just mentioned…and am I really doing enough for my child? Do I have him in enough recreational programs, do we read enough, do I take advantage of enough teachable moments? And then all of my doubts again vanish when we’re driving along in the car and the two landmarks that Ben jumps up and points out are McDonalds and The Dark Horse Bar. First, this made me feel like mother of the year…NOT. And then I realized that he loves McDonalds because EVERY KID loves McDonalds. He points the golden arches out no matter what town we are in…and he loves the Dark Horse because he is in love with the live music that he sees when we go there. (Yes, we take our kids to a bar.) Although McDonalds and the Dark Horse are not significant educational landmarks in his life (at least I hope not), he is learning at his own pace…and he knows what makes himself happy…McNuggets and the Bar.

I GOT TO CLEAN MY HOUSE

Been a while since I posted but yesterday I was feeling mighty guilty that Jody was left the last couple months all by her self to entertain the thousands. . . .yeah, ok, so I'm adding 1,999 people. . whatever, just a number.
SO, here is my re-birth to our blog! :-)

Yesterday my husband called me at work-it was about 3:00 and he said my dad had picked him and the 2 kids up and they were all in Kalamazoo.  They were just getting a 'late lunch' and then they were going to hit up some hunting stores.  He said they'd be a couple hours and he told me to do whatever I wanted to do. . I SWEAR I heard the chime of bells and a chorus of angels singing. . .

Now came my math skills:  just getting a late lunch-they were all in the truck when he called.  About 5 minutes to get the kids and diaper bag into a restaurant, 10 minutes to order, 30 minutes to eat, 5 minutes to get kids back in truck, 2 hours at hunting stores and driving to each, and 30 minutes home. I had approximately 3 hours!!!!  My mom and I made 'dinner and shopping plans' but that gave me a WHOLE HOUR before she left work.

I was SO excited and as I left the building and was walking to my car, a co-worker asked me what I was doing-I said, I'm GOING TO CLEAN MY HOUSE for an HOUR!  She looked baffled that I was excited about this, but, anyone who has little kids knows what an hour of cleaning w/o them in the house means-it actually looks like you clean!!!  That statement: "Cleaning your house with kids in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos" is SO true!

I don't think I have ever been that excited to clean and I didn't even get much done.  I cleaned the kitchen THOROUGHLY and picked up toys, throw blankets, decorative pillows, and couch cushions off the floor in the living room.  Started the dishwasher and I was on my way to meet my mom.

How successful I felt when I got home.  We got home too late for the kids to mess up what I had cleaned and all I could do was feel. . . AMAZING! 

Celebrate

            After taking almost the entire day off from work yesterday due to what seemed like the aftermath of being run over by a freight train, I knew I had to pull myself out of bed by 5:30pm to take care of the kiddos since Adam had to go to class. This was quite the task after having non-stop migraines all day, really strange dreams that I’ll never admit to anyone, an incredibly sore throat, and a fever that was causing chills and hot-flashes all at the same time! I had to do it though, it took a little bit of positive self-talk, actually about 40 minutes of positive self-talk, but I finally dragged my sorry looking self out of bed! It wasn’t just the feeling of being run over by a train, the mirror displayed an image that would have scared the devil. In order to get myself through the next couple of hours until bedtime for the kids I broke everything up into 15 minute increments.

5:15pm- Adam arrives home with the kids. Although he had tried to explain to them that I had not been feeling well, a 10 month old and a 3 year old quickly forget that (Not that they really cared anyway). I placed a freezer meal that I had prepared last week in the oven. Hopefully this would be ready in an hour.

5:30pm- Adam tells Benji to take care of me and to be good. He leaves for class that should last from 6-9pm. I lay lifeless in the recliner as Ben stares at Power Rangers on TV and Presley is entertained by the dogs on the other side of the glass slider door.

5:45pm- Ben operating his remote control truck in circles around the living room. Presley crawling in circles chasing the truck. Me…still lifeless in the recliner.

6:00pm- Out of the chair finally. Presley is STARVING, as usual, and starting to fuss. Apparently 15 minutes of crawling in circles chasing a remote control truck makes a girl hungry. I get plates, bowls, cups, silverware ready for the chicken alfredo that we were about to enjoy. Ben tells me he doesn’t like food and does not want to eat.

6:15pm- Dinner finally ready. Presley begins to eat everything on her tray until she spots the dogs sitting on either side of her high chair impatiently awaiting her to drop something. She decides to feed them, and then laughs every time they would take food out of her hand. In the state that I’m in, this is incredibly annoying. Ahh, dogs are put outside. Ben still screaming, “I DON’T LIKE FOOD. I DON’T NEED TO EAT.” I try to eat, thinking that maybe some food would give me a little energy.

6:30pm- Presley is back to feeding herself after the dogs are out of sight. She eats a second helping. Ben hesitantly comes to look at his plate that I’ve prepared for him. “I DON’T LIKE THOSE THINGS. I DON’T LIKE THAT EXTRA SAUCE ON MY PLATE. I DON’T LIKE PEAS.”  The food that I had eaten did not give me any extra energy and I did not want to fight with a 3-year-old tonight. Thinking that I could bribe him, I said, “If you do not eat dinner, you will not be able to watch tv later.” He didn’t care, “I don’t want to watch tv anymore.” I felt defeated.

6:45pm- By now, and I’m not sure what made it happen, but Ben had taken 2 bites of the food that he didn’t need, and a few bites of pineapple chunks that I had found in the fridge from the night before. Presley was finished, cleaned up, and ready to have pajamas put on her. Once again…no energy for bath time tonight…don’t judge.

7:00pm- Ben puts his pajamas on, watches tv. Presley is taken upstairs to read books and be in bed by 7:30. I’m feeling so thankful that our kiddos go to bed so early.

7:30pm- Benji taken to his bedroom to read books and be to bed by 8. Only 1 book tonight, I’m pretty sure that with the migraine I was having my eyes were completely crossed because I could barely focus on the large print words in the book he had picked out.

7:45pm-CELEBRATE! And by celebrate, I mean…back to the recliner, lifeless. Everyone was asleep. Dogs, kids, and soon to follow…me.

 

            Those were definitely the longest 2 hours and 15 minutes that I’ve had in a very long time. Funny how the times we want to slow down never do, and the times we really NEED to speed up, also never do!

 

Our new dog food

            I was feeling a little guilty about being a very irresponsible pet owner today. When I woke up this morning and began the morning routine of filling the dog bowls and leading them to their kennel, I realized that I was completely out of dog food. I couldn’t let my two fur-babies be hungry all day, so I ravaged the fridge seeking something for them. Yes, I know it’s not good to feed dogs human food, but my brain was lacking caffeine at that moment and I justified my decision by convincing myself that human food is better for dogs than utter STARVATION! I gave them each 2 brats. I don’t like brats, and I’m sure when my husband realizes that the pack of 6 brats is down to 4 he’ll be a little upset, but I figured this was better than leftover tater-tot casserole, after all brats are made of some sort of meat I think and dogs naturally thrive on meat…not tater tots. Anyway, after this predicament had finalized and my morning carried on as usual, I headed to work after dropping the kids off at daycare. The entire way to work I obsessed about what kind of dog food to buy. I’ve bought the very expensive brands that claim to be all natural, and I’ve bought store brands…and if you ask me, they eat all of it at the same speed and poop the exact same amount. I tossed this around in my head on and off all day, ridiculous I know. (As I’ve said before...people around me would probably appreciate it if I were medicated) I asked my friends what they fed their dogs, I researched dog food on the internet, and then after while I couldn’t take much more obsession about dog food. I put in a request to leave work early and headed to the store…for dog food. My boss thought I was crazy and assured me that the type of food I’ve been feeding my dogs is probably just fine, but in turn I assured her that I HAD TO LEAVE! (You’re probably asking where exactly this story is going, but please bear with me.) After arriving at the store and placing a bag of the store brand dog food in my cart, and then turning around and placing it back on the shelf only to find another brand to put into my cart, and eventually returning to the isle to exchange it, I realized that I will one day I will become the crazy lady on the street with 36 dogs, 14 inbred cats, and 2 parakeets in a one bedroom house. If you’re wondering, I ended up with Purina Naturals for my dogs and cats…and a bag of the only kind of rabbit food the store carried for my two bunnies. I rushed toward home, picked up the kids from daycare, drove to our house, pulled out leftover tater-tot casserole which Ben wouldn’t eat because “it has white stuff touching it” for dinner, and then went to feed the dogs. They were excited and pleased with my choice of new food. After the kids finished dinner, and playtime outside was over, we returned to the house for bath time. This was short-lived tonight, neither of the kids had patience to be cleansed. I lifted Presley out of the tub, let her have a few minutes of “nakey time” while getting Benji out of the tub. I came back out to the living room to see Mason, our puggle, licking the carpet. Then I smelled something unpleasant. And then, when I went to put Presley’s diaper on her I found the residue of the poop she’d apparently dropped on the floor during naked time. Apparently this happened in the 3.8 seconds that I had stepped away to get Benji out of the tub, and within that same amount of time, the dog found his dessert. I don’t often say omg, but OMG! Next time I won’t obsess too much about the brand of dog food I buy, evidently they’re happy with the kind that my children make.

This is Mason...our puggle.

Mom...there's white things.

            After arriving home from work to a screaming 10 month old,  Ben who was busy playing “minjas” with his new sword, the tv blaring and the radio in the kitchen turned up, my head was about to start spinning. I had to get away for a second to gather myself…so into my bedroom I headed, shut the door for 2 minutes and just sprawled out on my king sized bed. Ahhh….relief! I was quickly feeling better, headed out to reality as Adam was preparing dinner (aloha pork…whatever that is). Eventually dinner was ready, I opted to have my pork minus the aloha, as did Presley. Ben thought he was eating chicken nuggets, so we didn’t correct him. After dinner was over, Presley was picked up out of her high-chair covered in most of her meal, and stripped naked for a bath. This girl can put away some food, but she isn’t very “lady-like” while doing it. She usually ends up needing to be hosed off after dinner. That technique is sometimes frowned upon so the next best option is the bathtub. Thankfully the kids are both young enough that they can be bathed together, this saves a ton of time as Ben usually remains in the tub to play “guys” or “minjas” (ninjas in case you don’t speak 3 year old) after Presley is removed and dressed for bed. Tonight, however, this wasn’t the case. See, our bathroom tub is set up perfectly to see from the kitchen. We are able to get the kitchen cleaned up after dinner while still being able to hear and more importantly see both kiddos happily playing in the tub. Adam and I went about our business cleaning up and getting clothes laid out for bedtime. By now, all of that previous anxiety that I had shortly after arriving home from work was gone. The nightly routine was underway and things were pretty calm. Ben was yelling and playing as usual, and then he says, “Mom, Presley pooped white things.” I assured him that Presley hadn’t pooped, and that poop isn’t ever white and when about my cleaning. Again, “Mom, there’s white things.” By now Adam has gone in the bathroom to take a closer look, and yes, she had pooped. It wasn’t white at all, still not sure what Ben was talking about since he knows all of his colors very well, but Presley had in fact pooped and it was everywhere. Ben was rescued first from the sewer of a bathtub that the “mother of the year” was bathing her children in, and then little blissfully ignorant Presley was lifted out still smiling. Of course, she had no idea that it’s just not cool to bathe in your own feces, she’s only 10 months old. I had to walk away, there were turds and turd flakes floating around in the tub. I left the mess for Adam, after he’d made dinner for all of us you’d think that I could have chipped in to help with this mess, but I couldn’t do it, not today, I’d had enough! He was a trooper, he got the kids out, got them cleaned, got the tub cleaned out…and didn’t complain once. He’ll never know how much I appreciated that…and poor Benji. I never know whether or not to believe his grand imagination, next time I’ll take him a little more seriously when he tells me one of his “stories.”

My Third Paycheck

            It only happens seldom, and when it does you usually do not even notice it…that’s right, the month that you receive 3 paychecks! Typically when this happens I do not notice an excess in my bank account, I don’t get to splurge on a little something special for myself, and it’s usually over and done with before I even figure out that it was a 3 paycheck month. This month was a different story…or so I thought.  It was the end of the month, I was out of work by noon and looking forward to a 3-day weekend as it was Labor Day weekend. I had scheduled a hair appointment that I promptly drove to as soon as the workplace doors closed behind me, I was determined to find that extra money with that 3^rd check and I wanted to spoil myself a little bit, after all I had already paid all of my monthly bills including my new car payment of $300. After spending 2 hours getting my hair done and dropping over $100,  I headed to the mall where I dropped my car for an oil change that I had a gift card for and proceeded to meander through the stores in search of some great deals. I was feeling like a new woman with a few inches of hair being cut off, high and low lights, and a completely new style…you know that confident feeling that you had when you were 19 and you just knew everyone stared as you walked by, well I had that. I had about 30 minutes to kill and within this time I found a shirt that cost me $0.63, a pair of shoes that rang up for $7, and a pair of running shorts that were on clearance for $5. Couldn’t beat that, again with my confidence beaming, I strolled back through the mall to Sears, where my car was awaiting. I handed my gift card for the oil change to the cashier and the card covered the exact amount of the oil change…another amazing deal! Yes, so a trip to the mall and an oil change cost me $12.63, this is a first, and probably a last for me, but I was excited and called everyone on my way home to tell them about my amazing afternoon. (Yes, these are the things that excite me these days…I know, lame.) While driving home, I hit the drive-thru teller at the bank to withdraw my bi-weekly daycare payment and headed to daycare to pick the kiddos up and be home in time for dinner. During dinner, Adam and I talked about the day, discussed the amount still in our checking accounts after the recent paycheck, and continued to eat. I thought it was a bit ironic that I still had such an excess in my account, especially after my car payment, daycare, and my hair appointment had all come out of the one check. I pushed it to the back of my mind convincing myself that it must be the extra paycheck this month! The night concluded, and the next day rolled around. Adam went to work as usual on Saturday and I had the day to burn. I called my mom and asked her if she’d like to go with me to buy a pair of running shoes. In spite of everything, I had a lot of money to burn and I needed a new pair of shoes for my upcoming half-marathon! She agreed to go with me, I picked out a $100 pair of shoes, bought lunch, and headed back home. Adam arrived home a little later as I was dawdling around the garage, he poked his head out the window that looks in on our garage and says :

Adam:  “Do you know why you had so much extra money in your account?”

Me: “Umm..No?”

Adam: “Because your $300 car payment and your $350 daycare withdraw all came out of my checking

  account!”

Me: “Oh….Sorry.” Then I laughed.

 

Sometimes, when I think I have my life together and things seem to be going almost too well to be true…they usually are! I had given him two overdrafts and left him with a balance of $0 with two weeks to go before the next pay. But at least I can still feel confident about my new hair!!!