My hero

There may be someone out there that just LOVES Spongebob, but most of us just tell ourselves and everyone else that we do in hopes of tricking our brains into not being completely and utterly annoyed when our children watch it. Afterall, mind over matter sometimes works.  As you know, you can find Spongebob on at least one channel 24 hours a day. I’m pretty sure that there are subliminal messages being forced into our brains when we look into Spongebob’s eyes. Anyway, the best thing happened to our family about a month ago. Ben became very interested in cowboys after spending a couple evenings with his grandpa who showed Ben how “cool” black and white westerns can be. Keep in mind that Ben is not even 3 yet, but he loved this. Out with the Spongebob and in with…..THE LONE RANGER! Yes, really! Although, if you remember much of the Lone Ranger, it may not sound appealing to you, but I’ll gladly take it over Spongebob any day! When the Lone Ranger was on the other day Ben ran to the refrigerator and grabbed an eye mask, then to his room for his cowboy hat. If The Lone Ranger isn’t on TV, since it’s not quite as popular as Spongebob these days, Gunsmoke or any other western that is displayed in black and white will suffice, but it’s definitely not the favorite choice.

This morning, in a hurry as usual because I can’t pull myself out of bed, I was rushing Ben to “finish eating,” “get dressed,” and “find your shoes!” Well, Ben absolutely does not wear shoes anymore, he wears cowboy boots. It has recently been 80 degree weather, and still the cowboy boots! Kids are so weird sometimes, but that is not a fight that I’m willing to have at 6:15 am when I’m trying to get to work on time, so go ahead and put your damn cowboy boots on!

It’s funny to watch children grow up and admire one person (or character) one day, and then completely forget about them the next. It’s so interesting to me to see what and who our children’s heroes are and to learn why our children are so intrigued with these “characters.” I hope that someday, the Lone Ranger will fade into the depths of lil Ben’s brain and his heroes will become real people who have done real things to make a difference in his life. I have faith this will happen, but right now, my biggest hero is my little Lone Ranger.

He Pooped!

For all of you mothers who have attempted to potty train a little boy, you will completely understand when I say there is VICTORY in 1 single bowel movement done in the toilet.  Amazing how, even though they are still SO small, they have MAN poops in their diapers!  Horrible smelling and just big!  Tyler has been doing SO well peeing in the toilet but when it comes to pooping-he'd rather go into his room or go behind the couch and do his thing in his pants. . oh, he KNOWS what he's doing because he always says afterward, "I POOPED". . .great, why couldn't you tell me 5 minutes ago?  In our guest bathroom we have a piece of wood at the base of the toilet so he can stand and pee without missing the bowl.  We also have a step stool in front of our toilet and on the ledge of that step stool we have taped a box of fruit loops, an animal toy, a chocolate candy bar, and money.  When he poops in the toilet he gets a choice of what 'prize' he wants.  What kids WOULDN'T that entice?!?!?!?!?!  Oh yeah, my son.  Today about 2:30 p.m., my husband, Kurt called me at work and I was put on speaker phone.  Kurt said, "mommy, Tyler is a big boy and told me he'd try to go poop". . .so at my desk, in my cubicle, I proceeded to say, "go Tyler, YAY!  I'm so proud of you! What a big boy!  You can do it! YAY!!!" and Kurt informed me when 1 poop dropped (another "yay-what a big boy") 2nd poop dropped ("oh my goodness, Tyler, I'm SO proud of you") and 3rd poop dropped (clapping from both Kurt and I and my continued vocal encouragement).  Kurt then involved me in the conversation on speaker phone of what prize Tyler was going to choose.  Tyler chose the Rhino plastic animal to add to his animal collection!   Wow, what a victory, he pooped in the toilet!  SO proud of you, Tyler!! Way to GO!!!

I Married My DAD

            I had the best childhood. I grew up with a mom and a dad who loved me, 2 older brothers who spoiled me, and all of the ponies and kittens that any little girl could ever dream of. Dolls were not for me, and as I grew older I became much closer with my dad than my mom. I would much rather ride the tractor with my dad than be in the house helping mom with dinner…how lame…and how “Suzie homemaker”. Now, I don’t want you to think that my mother was a pushover by any means or that she lived to serve her children and husband, she did this all out of necessity rather than desire, but my dad definitely expected dinner on the table when he got home from work and laundry washed and ready for him. As frustrated as my mom would get at times, she never stood up for herself, or at least I never saw it. I specifically remember an argument that my mom and I got into when I was in college. She had complained about something that my dad had, or hadn’t done, and I said to her, “I would have never married anyone like dad, and if I did I would have trained him better.” Yes, I said TRAINED, believe it or not, there are lots of similarities between your husband and your golden retriever, he may be very loyal but it takes a lot of training on the front end to turn him into a good dog…I mean husband. Anyway, after that comment that I had made to my mom, I don’t really remember many other details, but I can only assume that I slammed a door, stormed out, and drove over to my ever-caring and tentative boyfriend’s house. My mom didn’t talk to me for a long time, probably 2 weeks, and for someone like me who thrives on conversation, that was an eternity of pure hell. I felt bad, but not because of what I had said, only because of how it had hurt my mom, but damn…stand up for yourself once in a while! He walks all over you! As a child, this is how I had perceived their relationship. My dad said mean things when they were fighting, and was thoughtless at times…and very selfish. I loved and still do love him more than anything…as a dad, but as a husband he would be a difficult person to be married to. He was, and still is at times so selfish.

            Time passed and I dated…A LOT…and had a lot of different boyfriends who were always great. They cared what I thought, they spoiled me with attention and affection, and told me all of the time how great I was. I loved this! Then…I saw Adam. I had just landed my first real job out of college and during the first staff meeting when I was being introduced to everyone, I saw him. “That’s the man I’m going to marry.” Stop…I laugh at everyone else that believes in love at first sight too, but mine was real, honestly. Shortly after this initial sighting, we started talking, and hanging out, and dating. It didn’t take long, I was head over heels in love with this guy. He was everything I wanted and it all just felt so natural, and comfortable. It wasn’t until after we were married that I realized why everything felt so natural and comfortable, I had married my dad.

 People say that you turn into your mother, apparently I have, although I’m working on the training! I understand now why my mom stuck with it. My dad, and my husband are great…buttheads (to say the least) sometimes, but great and frustrating all at the same time. My husband likes to tell me that I don’t take on enough challenges, but what he doesn’t see is that THIS is the biggest challenge of my life…and I’m not going to give up until he graduates from obedience school!

Remember

I sit next to a girl at work who is having her first baby.  I think I had almost forgotten those 10 months of my pregnancy with Tyler.  But as she tells me her day to day experiences I remember, boy, do I remember.  I remember the first ultra-sound at 12 weeks.  I was alone at the dr's office because Kurt was running late.  The tech held off for as long as she could because she knew I wanted Kurt to be there but she finally took me in a room and put that warm lube on my belly.  I wanted to cry and smile all at the same time.  There my baby was-so perfect, even at 12 weeks he was the most beautiful thing I had EVER seen.  After a minute, there was a knock on the door and Kurt walked in.  When I said, 'hey babe' and he responded with 'hey honey' the baby went from laying COMPLETELY still to jumping around like a little Mexican jumping bean and waving his arms like he knew his dad had just walked in.  Or maybe the baby sensed my relief and joy?  For whatever reason, it was DARLING. 
At 22 weeks I remember sitting on the couch with Kurt (we are both cuddlers and sit very close to each other).  Kurt's elbow was basically resting on the side of my stomach.  He had yet to feel the baby move and all of a sudden Kurt's elbow was kicked off me stomach! haha. . .Kurt said, 'was that the baby?' and I said, 'yeah, pretty cool, huh?'  Kurt rested his arm back on my stomach and we both settled back in to watch the movie we had started but I don't think either of us were really focused.  All I could think of was about this little bundle of joy that would soon be mine and he/she (we didn't find out the sex of either of our babies) had already changed my world and made me the happiest woman/mother EVER!
I remember having my first contractions at 32 weeks and going to the hospital where they gave me tons of IV meds to stop labor.  While doing this the nurse and the doctor warned me of all the possibilities that could happen if this baby decided not to stay in 'there' til term.  Petrified I remember thinking and praying, "Oh, God, please let everything be ok and make this baby STAY PUT".  God answered my prayers because, although I was on bed rest from week 34-40, Tyler was born a DAY AFTER his due date!  3/25/09 I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby boy. 
I don't want anyone to think I didn't enjoy my second pregnancy as much, it was just different.  I couldn't just sit on the couch and take joy in all the squirming-I was too busy chasing a 2 yr old! I couldn't just blissfully imagine what would and COULD be someday.  I was living it everyday and yes, I have so much joy, but we all have to admit as mothers, some days are HARD and not so enJOYable! 
I remember more with Kendall while I was at work-or maybe that was the only time I could really focus on the tumbling in my belly.  While Tyler liked to kick me in my ribs, Kendall liked to roll her booty across my belly! haha. . .so fun.  So, as the young women around me and you get pregnant 1 by 1 and have these moments, I encourage us all to just, remember.

It must be a conspiracy

I have to believe that most, if not all women who have children and are in a relationship with a man wonder where they went wrong or what did I get myself into?  You may not wonder this all of the time, but be honest…it has crossed your mind, some of us more than others.

As I’ve mentioned before, I love my husband more than he’ll ever understand, but……what happened to 50/50? Compromise? Sacrifice?  I’m beginning to understand what this means, and yes I consider myself a slow learner. Ben is almost 3 now and it has taken me this long, but I continue to fight the battle…maybe I think I’m going to “win one” for women everywhere, but I probably won’t! So back to my point...I think I understand what our church pastors, marriage counselors, mothers, and annoying aunts mean when they say that marriage and raising children is life changing and it takes a lot of compromise and sacrifice.

1.     Sacrifice: women being willing to gain weight, stretch marks, and more patience than we ever knew we could have. Losing sleep when our babies (or husbands) are hungry, teething, or having nightmares. Giving up the control over our lives that we once had…whether you want to admit it or not, youngsters (and husbands) often determine where we go out to eat (if you are brave enough to go at all),where we shop, how far we travel, and what movies we go see…c’mon, when is the last time you took your babies (or husbands) to see the latest Matthew McConaughey film?

2.    Compromise: getting into an argument over something that you are OBVIOUSLY right about, but giving in to your husband (or children) to avoid a scene while in public. Letting your husband (or kids) watch or listen to their favorite tv shows so you can have a little free time for yourself (which usually consists of cleaning up after dinner or folding laundry). Allowing your husband (or kids) to “fix” whatever may or may not be broken so they can feel like a “provider” even though it probably would have been completed 4 days sooner if you would have just called a professional (or done it yourself!)

3.    50/50: This is simple, 50/50 is loosely translated to mean 80/20.

       So…why couldn’t they just tell us these things before we got married and had babies? Because if they would have told us these things, we probably would have avoided marriage and children all together causing a huge decrease in the human population. It must be a conspiracy.  

Sleep, or lack of

Why is it that on the 1 or maybe 2 days you could REALLY enjoy sleeping a little, children have these mental alarms that scream, "MOMMY isn't going to work today! Wake-UP, wake HER up! Hurry!"  Seriously?  Friday at work I was SO tired and all I could think about was (other than my pre-baby self) was how much sleep I should be able to catch up with the 3 day weekend.  Saturday, kids should sleep until 8:30-that is 2 hrs catch up; Sunday, 8:30-another 2 hours; Monday, yup, 8:30. . .that is a total of 6 hours catch up sleep that I should HAVE been able to get, right??? So, why is it that yesterday, Saturday, my children both decided to wake up at 7:30?!?!?! WHAT??? Sure, you sleep in for your dad every Monday through Friday but yeah, just go ahead and jump on me at 7:30. . .Then last night (kids should've gone to bed early, right?  They woke up so dang early!) Tyler went down at 10 and then proceeded to get out of bed and come to the living room every 30 minutes until 1 a.m. at which Kurt and I decided if we just went to bed and he knew we were in bed he wouldn't come to our room. . .WRONG!  Shortly after we turned out all the lights, we heard the pitter patter of little feet.  I nudged Kurt but of course he has the blessed ability to sleep throughout children's noises. . .so I took Tyler out to the living room and laid on the couch.  He FINALLY fell asleep at 2:55 and I carried him to his bed.  His eyes flickered and he sat up-'PLEASE NO', my head screamed!  But he just re-arranged himself and fell back asleep!  WHEW!  I crawled into bed around 3 a.m. and thought, well, I'll get 5 hours of sleep. . .but no, Kendall had to wake up at 7.  And, even though I have no idea what tomorrow (Memorial Day) brings, I'm assuming that I won't get that 6 extra catch up hours that I had my heart set on.  Yay. . . .here's to lack of sleep for the next 5 years!

Mini Vacation....Part 2

If you have already read my previous post, and have viewed Cindi's most recent, I'm sure you can anticipate what this will be about. This is my "mini vacation" continued. To save a little money we decided to drive up to the softball tournament today (Saturday) rather than last night so our day started pretty early this morning. 6:00 am: Wake up! Run to put the wet clothes from last night's wash in the dryer since half of what is in there still has to be backed for our "mini vacation". Go shower before waking kids up. Make breakfast so it'll be ready when Ben, Presley, and my niece wake up. 6:30ish...packing wet clothes into our bags so we can leave by 7. Okay, kids fed, dogs fed, windows all closed, house locked up..time to pack the car and deliver the dogs to their overnight destination. So, I usually think that my durango is plenty big enough for everything I need to carry, but this obviously isn't so when we have a ball bag (full of equipment that Adam may or may not use), a tent to block sun which we definitely won't use (because I'm a bad mom and I love to be tan and let my kids play in the sun), my over night bag, my niece's overnight bag that is 3 times the size of her, Ben's backpack, Adam's wal-mart bag packed with his clothes, and Presley's bag. Oh, and a double-wide stroller too because I like to pretend I'm a runner with my huge double running stroller...I find that it makes other mom's jealous and then I feel better about myself..Kidding!!! Anyway, if we can slam the door down fast enough nothing will fall out...QUICK..SHUT IT! Good, hatch closed, kids loaded, 1 dog under Ben's feet, one golden retriever on my lap in the front. This is classy, I hope we get pulled over now! Ten minutes later, the dogs are dropped off and we're FINALLY on our way. Smooth sailing, kids were pretty good, nobody pooped or peed their pants, no car sickness, I'd call that a successful drive!

Now we're at the tournament, awesome. Ben peed his pants already. I took him behind a shed to change him since there were no bathrooms available. I pulled his pants down and out fell a huge turd! I never say omg, but OMG...this isn't embarrassing at all. I don't make eye contact with anyone who may or may not be watching the mother of the year. After this situation is taken care of it's time to feed Presley her bottle, but it was cold because there was no running water anywhere and my bottle warmer picked one hell of a day to STOP WORKING. Of course she's not going to drink it. I feel my anxiety and I want a xanax, although I've never had one I hear wonderful reviews! Presley is screaming, Ben's running around like a barefoot hillbilly, and what now....my f***ing period starts. Really? REALLY? Do you think I packed tampons? Of course not. Thank goodness for my fellow softball wives and one very generous friend who was able to run to the store for me. Happy Memorial Day weekend friends...stay tuned!

(This is exactly how I feel this weekend)