I Need My Morning Coffee

            I woke up this morning to the sound of my phone vibrating underneath my pillow. It was 5:58 and it was a text from Adam. I’m one of those people that always assumes someone is going to be in imminent danger and that I’ll be the one that they call to rescue them…so in other words, my phone remains on 24 hours a day. Because of this, I think my phone has decided to play little tricks on me. It absolutely refuses to alarm before 6 am. I have two alarms set on it, one for 5:25, and then a 6:00 am alarm, that is a final warning that I better get my butt out of bed and I better have showered the night before because I have to leave in 30 minutes! Needless to say, my 5:25 alarm had not sounded, and I did not wake up until my husband texted me. Now, my morning routine is scheduled exactly to the minute and if one thing falls out of routine I will not have time to stop at Citgo to buy my 2 for $4 Starbucks doubleshots that fuel my day! So, I now have 30 minutes to get myself dressed and groomed, the dogs fed and put in their kennel, cats put outside for the day, Presley dressed and fed, and Ben dressed, he’s going to have to eat breakfast at daycare today, I simply don’t have time…since I have to get my caffeine fix!

            Okay, animals are taken care of, I’m dressed, and now it’s 6:07 am, I go upstairs to wake Presley up. She’s happy and wakes up willingly. I quickly get her dressed and give her a bottle. I sit her down on the floor, prop her up with a pillow and she feeds herself, what an independent child! (I’m glad I have at least one of those!) Time to go wake Ben up, this is torture for him every day, except on the weekends when he wakes up at 5:30am by himself and refuses to go back to sleep…argh!

Me: “Benji…time to wake up Buddy.”

Ben: “NO”

Me: “Come on Buddy, time to get up.”

Ben: “NO, I want to go to the zoo.” (no idea where this came from!)

Me: “Let’s go Ben. I’m going downstairs, you get up and come down when you’re

       ready.”

Ben: “NO”

So, I leave his room, go downstairs, and put my shoes on. It’s now 6:20 and we need to leave in 10 minutes…because I NEED MY CAFFIENE. It’s now 6:24 am, Ben comes downstairs.

Me: “Hi bud, let’s go potty”

Ben: “NO”

Me: “ You can go outside or in the potty.” (yes, I let my child outside with the                  dogs in the mornings to pee)

Ben: “NO, it’s cold outside.”

Me: “Really Ben, it’s already 80 degrees outside.” (Can you tell I need caffeine?)

He finally decides to go out into the arctic to pee. When he comes back in I get him dressed and of course he hated the underwear that I had picked out for him. He hated the shirt that I had picked out for him, and the shorts were okay, but he wasn’t happy with me. Like every other day in Ben’s life, he HAS to wear his bright blue cowboy boots. He put one on and screamed because it wasn’t warm. I have no idea what his meant and still don’t, but all I know is that by now it was exactly 6:30 and the thought of me not getting my starbucks had my anxiety rising like a thermometer in hell. By now, he didn’t want his boots because they weren’t warm, but he didn’t want his sandals either (even though the temperature is supposed to be 96 degrees today and humid). “You have until the count of three to get to the car or Presley and I are leaving without you.” No, I wasn’t actually going to leave, but a 3 year old doesn’t know that so it worked! He ran out to the car screaming…and barefoot. (My neighbors love us.) I grabbed his SANDALS and marched to the car, irritated. I buckled Ben in, tossed his SANDALS on the floor and shut the door. 6:37 now. I drove to daycare, carried him in…barefoot, and then carried Presley in, she’s still smiling through all of the chaos! I sign the kids in, reported Presley’s morning bottle and diaper change, and gave Ben a hug, told the kiddos that I loved them and I’m out the door….FINALLY.

            I decide to stop at the store whether it was going to make me late for work or not, I wasn’t ready to face the day without my doubleshot of energy! I bought my canned coffee, and sped to work, made it on time..I can finally relax. Work is so much easier than kids! God Bless all of the stay-at-home parents, there’s no way I could ever do that!!!!