Ham

Some people have a mother, some have a mom, some have a ma...and on so forth. My family is fortunate to have a Ham. The name came about nearly 13 years ago when her eldest granddaughter struggled to say "Gram" and it came out as "Ham." Needless to say, it stuck. Although she's not thrilled with the nickname, she is stuck with it indefinitely! Not only do family members refer to her as Ham, many of her grandchildren's friends know her as Ham or Hammy, my friends know her as Ham, and she is now introduced to new people as "Ham."

 

Every summer all eight of the grandchildren look forward to Cousin Camp at Ham's house! Cousin Camp consists of a week or two of the grandchildren gathering to bond and get into trouble at Ham's house and the adults bonding over several bottles of wine throughout the week. The out of state kiddos came equipped with airsoft rifles, swim trunks, and IPads. The local grandkids came equipped with four-wheelers and kayaks in hopes of sneaking away without any adult supervision down the river or on the trails in the woods. The three littles of the eight cousins spent hours playing with kittens, riding horses, swimming in the pool, and catching lightening (or lighting) bugs. All of the kids suffered mosquito bites and exhaustion...naps are not typically part of Cousin Camp!

 

As all of the kids play and bond with cousins that they see seldom, and the adults bond over wine and dog walking...Ham had the entire week planned. Zoo, Build a Bear for the littles, tent camping in the yard for the kids, Tiger's Game, Ladies Night Dinner Out, and hundreds of dollars worth of french toast sticks, soda, hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, and all of the other food that she cooked for the 8 kids and up to 10 adults daily...most days all three meals were prepared by our Ham! She did countless loads of laundry, countless loads of dishes, and had the patience of a Saint. She also kept two refrigerators stocked and made trips to the grocery store every other day!

 

While it's amazing to watch my children and the other grandchildren get a small taste of the childhood that my brother's and I experienced, it is always more amazing to think about the effort it takes to keep all of the kids (and adults) sane for a week together with one bathroom! She must be an Angel. Maybe she enjoys the organized chaos of Cousin Camp, maybe not, but we all love and appreciate it...and the kids will be able to share memories throughout their lives. My memories of childhood consist of Hammy chasing the barn cats off the porch with broom, watching her maintain a household while working a full time job, having a healthy dinner on the table and sitting together as a family every night, admiring the way she could fix anything from a vacuum cleaner to the toilet to the electric fence that kept Dad's cows. She mowed the lawn, trimmed, and nursed sick animals...it always seemed like she had more empathy for a sick animal than me when I was ill, but that's beside the point...I'm alive right? She coached my volleyball teams and never missed a softball game or track meet that I ran in. She earned the respect of the community in several different ways, but she's most commonly complimented on her amazing talent as a teacher. She taught in the same school district for countless years and taught hundreds of children to read...what an amazing gift to give someone. We were never friends when I was a kid. She had rules and I was too scared not to follow them, she didn't listen to me complain about school or coaches. She taught me to stand up for what I believed was right and not to be scared of confrontation if there was ever a need. She showed me how to be married to a man that "has a mind of his own." She always did and still does style her hair just to run to the grocery store, she dresses with class, and has beautiful blue eyes. She has a bowl of ice cream every night...usually chocolate with chocolate syrup or chocolate powder sprinkled on it. We are friends now, she's someone I look up to even though she's a few inches shorter than me. She's our Ham and we're so lucky to have her.

 



Kids These Days!

The longer I sit here and stare at my computer screen, the more I wonder why I can't think of anything to talk about. It used to flow, never was there a problem thinking of a funny story, or a meaningful idea to blab about...then it came.

Remember when we were little? We couldn't wait for summer break from school, especially when we were old enough to stay home alone? Time was spent outside. I have to say, I was a bit of a "tomboy" for lack of better words so all summer I played outside, rode horses, made forts in the trees, played with the dogs, made tunnels through the hay stacks in our barn, played catch with my dad, swam...

There was also something as a child that I swore I'd never do as an adult....use the phrase, "Kids these Days!" But, here it goes, KIDS THESE DAYS! I had the pleasure of spending several hours with my 14 year old neice and her friend the other day at my house. They came hang out and babysit that evening so Adam and I could go to a DIRT FIRE (That's a story for another day!). Anyway, the entire time the girls were at our house, while I was present, was spent on a device. They came prepared to use our WiFi with a tablet, cell phone, and IPod. They were giggling and snapping pictures of each other doing nothing, and paying little attention to anything going on around them. Even the TV is obsolete to teenagers when they have Snap Chat, texting, Facebook, and whatever other apps my kids better never let me find out they have! It was clear that a boy, or two, was involved with all of the giggles. The friend informed us that she was in a relationship as of two hours ago, Adam and I felt incredibly responsible for the fact that she had a boyfriend and her parents had no idea! I'm not sure how to handle teenagers, I have no practice, but here are a few things I've learned by secretely observing them...

1. They seem utterly content as long as they are connected to some source of WiFi.
2. If there was a natural disaster, you could always rely on a teenager to have saved their IPod, wouldn't want to be without music (or texting or facebook). I didn't even know IPods did that!
3. They text each other even when they are sitting in the same room. So weird.
4. They have boyfriends/girlfriends...but don't go on dates.
5. They don't know what Saved by the Bell is (was).
6. They know everything, and if they don't...well, they do.
7. They dress exactly like the friend they are having a sleepover with.
8. They call sandals "Slides." What does that even mean?

I spent the evening outside with the kids. Presley attempted to help me in the garden, and Ben entertained himself as usual, and then we set up some bases and played baseball...barefoot. It was fun, and healthy, and we all laughed. Then we came inside and assumed our typical nightly routine. They are in bed now, and I wonder what they'll be like at 14 years old. I'd like to say that they won't be obsessed with technology and will still enjoy physical activity and outdoors, but I have no idea. I hope that I can instill in my children a sense of what is truly important in their lives rather than snapping constant selfies and playing World of Warcraft. I hope that my kids will climb trees and play with the animals. I hope they will want to go ride horses and play baseball in 10 years. And I certainly hope they always see the value of verbal communication refrain from texting someone who is in the same room!

Kids these days!

He'll be the boss

The speed at which children learn has always fascinated me. They typically learn to eat within minutes, they learn to communicate their needs through crying within hours of birth, they learn to smile, to play, to walk....and to manipulate, one of the most important skills of childhood, and then they learn about money. Well, they learn about the idea of money. Most of the time, Ben is convinced that every day that I go to work I come home with a pocket full of cash. And then trying to explain a check or a credit card to a 4 year old, impossible.

Teenage Mutant "Minja" Turtles have been a recent obsession for Ben. Turtle shirts, masks, underwear, "minja" turtle action figures, and begging to paint the bathroom green...and then begging for turtle toys. Perfect time to learn about earning money, right? Adam thought so. He told Ben that he could earn $1 if he cleaned his bedroom and helped Presley clean hers. We're all about cheap labor around here! Anyway, he agreed, the rooms were in excellent condition after about 1/2 hour, and he insisted on showing Adam and me the rooms....then he attempted a negotiation for $2 because it looked so nice! (He didn't win the negotiation, but E for Effort!) After this he begged to do some more chores to earn more money, we insist he use the word "earn" rather than "get" in our home...we also insist he grow up self-sufficient and not on public assistance! Anyway, Adam told him that if he cleaned up the main floor of our house (picked up his own toys) he could earn some more money. As you can imagine, this didn't go as easily or eagerly as the first $1 earned went! After a few minutes of crying and attempting to argue his point about how he should have "gotten" $2 for cleaning two rooms upstairs, he came up with another strategy. Now, I have to commend my little man, I forsee a high paying career in which he is definitely the boss.

Ben: "Mommy, Daddy said if I clean the downstairs he will give me more money."
Me: "Buddy, Daddy said if you clean the downstairs you can earn more money."
Ben: "Yeah, so I need you to clean the downstairs for me."
Me: "I'm not sure that's how it works, Bud, but nice try! You can clean up if you want the money."

Four years old and he's got the skill of delegation down! I didn't do it for him, nor did he do it...nor did he earn another $1.

Current balance to purchace a "minja" turtle: $1
This may take a while!

I'm Awake!

It's inevitable, your kids start to become independent, things seem to fall into place, you feel caught up on sleep after what seems like approximately four years of exhaustion...and you think you want another baby. And then you're reminded why life may just be simpler with two...or not.

Ever have one of those nights where it just seems that sleep isn't in the cards? I'm positive that I saw every single hour on our bedroom clock. The dogs bark, I'm awake. Husband snores...I'm awake. Presley visit #1, I'm awake...she just came down stairs to ask if she could be carried back to her bed. Logical. One hour later, Presley visit #2, I'm awake...came downstairs to ask to sleep with me, Adam's turn to get up, but of course I'm STILL awake because:

"MOMMMMMMY!"
"MOOOMMMMMMYYYY!"
"DON'T WANT DADDY...MOMMMMY...."

and on and so forth...

And after that calmed down, we found ourselves asleep yet again..until Presley visit #3, standing next to my bed staring at me holding a bottle of Sunny D (original flavor in case you were wondering) and a cup.

Me: "What on earth are you doing?"
Presley: "Juice."
Me: "No. Why do you have juice?"
Presley: "Want to drink."
Me: "IT IS BEDTIME."
Presley: "Juice."

Another trip up the stairs wasn't happening, I settled for plopping her on the couch. Sounds simple, but it wasn't...in the process of digging through the cupboards, and strategically placing a chair by the cupboards to reach her favorite cup, and then making her way back into my bedroom with a gallon of juice in hand, she lost her blanket. Obviously there is NO WAY for a 2 year old to sleep without her "buddy." It wasn't in her bed, it wasn't in my bed, it wasn't on the couch, and it wasn't by the floor. Mother of the year, right here, left her crying on the couch...eventually she fell back to sleep. And in the morning as I woke up and got myself around for work
, and watched the little precious sound asleep on the couch, I found the "buddy." It was by the fridge, obviously!

And then when you ask her about it this is what she does...

Because I Want To

Most days I wake up just in time to feel rushed, then I go to work and typically feel rushed, then rush home to pick up the kiddos from daycare, then rush to make dinner, then if we're lucky they get a very rushed letter or number teaching lesson for the night, then some rushed baths...and finally a rush to bed, and if time allows...a quick book or two. After kid bedtime rolls around, it's a rush to get the kitchen cleaned from dinner and the dishwasher started, and then...maybe a favorite TV show or two, then to bed only to begin my very rushed days all over again. In case you're wondering, I have plopped the kids in front of a movie and am rushing through this blog...sometimes TV NEEDS to be a babysitter for my own sanity (I was the perfect parent who swore off TV babysitting...until I actually had children of my own...don't judge.)

So, Why the rush? Because I want to. I wake up in the mornings and WANT to give my kids something other than processed foods for breakfast, so I cook...or prepare the morning meal. I rush home from work most days to pick my kids up...because I WANT to. Daycare from 7 AM-4 PM is plenty long enough for me to feel that my kids are getting too much parenting from people other than myself. Dinner, much like breakfast, is something that I feel is important. Afterall, it is the last "gasoline" they will be putting into their bodies for approximately 12 hours, it should be good gasoline, so my husband and I do our best to "home make" most meals (No, I don't hand roll my pastas or make all of my own sauces...my definition of "homemade" may be different than yours, get over it!) And after dinner, why work on lessons the kids should be learning at school? You guessed it, because I WANT to. I do believe that both of my kids (preschool ages) get wonderful care and education at their daycare center/school, but when they grow up to be Doctors, Lawyers, or the President of the United States, I want to be able to feel proud that I was part of their first class education! And why rush to clean the house...well, to be honest, that was a lie before, that's typically the very last thing that is accomplished in my house...and it's not uncommon to go to bed with a sink of dishes, or a load of laundry that needs to be done...oh well.

Nonetheless, everything else feels like a rush...most of the time because I WANT it to, but sometimes because I'm one of those people that struggle to balance my life priorities. It's difficult to admit that one part of my life isn't as good as the next, or in other words...one part fails in order to excell at another. Perfect mom...crappy wife. Stellar employee...tired mom. Regular gym member...kids "live" at daycare for an extra 1-2 hours. Great teacher to my kids....horrendous housekeeper! I've come to the conclusion that those people on facebook that post all of their excellence are LYING! Focusing on one or two things to perfect in my life is ENOUGH...and I use the term "perfect" very loosely! So, next time you're in the neighborhood, please stop by and join us for a homecooked meal, but don't expect that the table will be free of crumbs when you sit down or the dishes will be washed when we're finished!