You need to pick up your room...

            As I walked into Benji’s bedroom tonight, it appeared as if a tornado had preceded me. I have never claimed to be a great housekeeper and it is not uncommon to witness my house in disarray, but what I saw in Ben’s room was much, much more than a few toys out of place. I really should have taken a picture, but I was instantly transformed into cleaning mode, and Adam was at my side…and Ben mostly watched us. I did, however, make him put his books away that were scattered all over the floor. Along with the books, there was an entire dresser drawer full of clothes, play dough along with 356 play dough accessories, preschool workbooks, blankets, ripped up board game boxes with the contents scattered everywhere, a batman mask along with several other super hero costumes, action figures all over the bed,  and a ripped up Christmas gift bag of which the origin I don’t know since we’re currently nearing February. My description does not necessarily give a good picture of what the floor of this bedroom looked like, but trust me…it was definitely a fire hazard. After a few minutes of intensive organizing the room was livable, still not perfection, but livable. I began to lecture Benji on keeping his room neat and picked up, still he sat on the sidelines and watched us…I assumed that everything I was saying had gone in one ear and right out the other. Our conversation was as follows:

Me: “Ben, you can’t leave your room a mess every time you come up here to play.”

Ben: “Awwww..”

Me: “It’s been a mess for too long, you need to pick up your room when you get toys out. These books need to be put away before any tv is turned on tonight.”

Ben: “Awww…”

Me: “PICK UP YOUR BOOKS.”

Ben: “Oookay.”

Me: “What happened in here anyway?  This is ridiculous.”

Ben: (throwing his hands down in disgust) “Well, I started to turn into the Hulk.”

            And with that, I laughed. Just when I begin to think that my child needs to have more of an imagination, he throws something out there that is just amazing! I told Benji that although that was probably the best excuse that he had ever given me, and my favorite of all time, he still had to clean up. Adam informed Ben that Hulk cleans up his room, Ben disagreed of course. So, I’ve learned a few things from this… first of all, Benji will not be allowed to wear his Hulk costume or mask while unsupervised in his bedroom….ever again! And secondly, I learned that he’s going to be an excellent excuse maker as he grows up, but at least I got a good laugh out of this one! The teenage excuses make me nervous, but I have a few years before I really have to worry about that.

The Perfect Team

                The more my husband and I grow in our marriage, the more I begin to realize that we were meant for one another. I mean, you always believe that you’re soul mates initially when everything is butterflies and rainbows and every song that plays on the radio seems to be about your relationship, but then you get married…and it’s hard, and not always butterflies and rainbows, and you realize that many of those songs that you thought were so great are actually about heartbreak. I cannot speak for all marriages, but I know that my husband and I have been through some rough patches that have made both of us question our initial “soul mate” status. I’m thankful that Adam and I both faithfully believe in the institution of marriage and have “stuck with it” for lack of a better word. There’s never been a question as to where the love is, however sometimes it seems that the frustration overshadows everything…but still we’ve kept on keeping on, for better or for worse right?

            Well, it occurred to me recently that I may or may not be a terrible housekeeper and my lack of organizational skills in my home is evident to anyone that has come over unannounced, or at times even announced. This is something that was blatantly obvious to Adam the first time he ever came to my house…when I refused to let him inside. I was sure that if he saw my housekeeping skills he would be long gone. He chose to accept me anyway, although I’ve found my things stashed in the trash can or hidden in the basement on more than one occasion when he becomes a little more than irritated with my mess. Yesterday though, I realized that after nearly 4 years of marriage, I’m sure this is going to work out and we’ll still be arguing over the unorganized refrigerator and my clothes on the bedroom floor when we’re 87 years old.  Yesterday, Adam called me while I was at work and asked if I could pick the kids up from daycare because he was cleaning the house. Although irritated, I agreed to pick the kids up. My anxiety kicked in when I realized that it was nearing trash pick-up day and my things were scattered through the house and he was “cleaning” which often means throwing things away that are in the way.  When I finally arrived home with children in tow around 6 PM, I was pleasantly surprised to find dinner almost ready, a fire going in the fireplace, the entire house organized, the dishwasher running, and the trash can; not overflowing with my things! It was then that I realized that we are indeed, soul mates. We are the perfect team. And we will forever be extremely compatible…I’m excellent at making messes, and he is excellent at cleaning them up!

25 Miles out of the way

Typically, driving 25 miles out of the way would cause severe irritation, frustration, and an incredible urge to skip breakfast and stop at McDonalds to fulfill my calorie intake for the day, but today was different. After our recent move that I’ve mentioned in previous posts, it was decided that my husband would now be Mr. Mom and take the kids to, and pick up from daycare because it was much nearer where he works than where I am currently working. I was more than elated! Finally, Adam was going to understand what I go through every morning…the rush of getting two kids around and still trying to make it to work on time. At first, it was amazing to wake up and only get myself ready. I wasn’t sure what to do with all of my spare time…so I slept in of course! It was great. I woke up refreshed, the house was quiet, I had time to make coffee and take a long, hot shower. I had NO responsibilities!

For a few days I was able to fulfill my “motherly instinct” by packing the kid’s clothes for the next day in a “to-go-to-daycare” bag, and preparing a snack box full of fruit, granola bars (Koala bears as Ben calls them), and juice for the car ride to daycare…but then when the snack box was coming home full I realized that the kids didn’t really need that, so I stopped. After a week, I missed my kids and packing their clothes ever night was not quite enough “mom” time for me. I was getting home from work around 5:30 pm, rushing to make dinner, then putting the kids to bed shortly after. It was weird, I wasn’t aware that I would ever miss someone that lived in the same house as me and I’m starting to become a little nervous about how I will handle the time when my kids go off to college or move out of the house.  I decided last night that although it would be much easier for my husband to take the kids to daycare, I needed to be involved too. I would drive the extra 25 miles in the opposite direction if that meant that I was the one that could wake them up, prepare an actual breakfast, and give them their “goodbye, I love you” hugs at daycare. So this is what I did today, it may not be able to happen every day, but as much as I complained about having to do EVERYTHING in the mornings, I missed it when I wasn’t able to do ANYTHING. So, my solution to missing my kids?  Spend an extra hour with them in the mornings. Although there may not be much dialogue in the mornings with my grumpy Benji and my less than verbal Presley, I didn’t realize how much I missed that time until I didn’t have it anymore. I’m so thankful that I’m able to have the option to spend more time with my kids, even if it is only an extra hour…I realize that not all parents have that luxury. So, today was perfect. I was more focused at work as I wasn’t sitting daydreaming about my children all day, and I feel better about seeing them tonight as I won’t have to smother them with constant hugs and kisses for an hour because I missed them all day! Today, I am so thankful for my extra 25 miles out of the way!