Yes, I’m that parent who allows my three year old son to
pee outside…and yes, sometimes this occurs in public as he’s not quite learned
that dropping your pants to your ankles so everyone can see your bare butt is embarrassing.
I just wanted to start off with that disclaimer so nobody was shocked or
appalled with the following. So tonight, while at a softball game for my niece,
Benji shouts out from the top of the bleachers where he was climbing, “I gotta
go potty!” The question that always follows this by any parent after scanning
the property for a bathroom and not finding one is, “pee or poop?” I should
state that there was a porta-potty, however I have a very serious phobia of
those things and avoid them like the plague. Anyway, I was relieved to hear him answer pee,
we quickly ran across the street and hid behind a truck and peed into the weeds…and
when I say we, I mean Ben urinated in the weeds, not me! He peed, and peed, and
peed some more, I was not aware that his bladder could hold a gallon and a half
of liquid, but apparently, it can. So after Benji was finished taking care of business
he just stood there, keep in mind he’s almost 4, I shouldn’t have to remind him
to pull his pants up, but I did anyway.
Me: “Let’s go bud, pull
your pants up.”
Ben: “I am”
Me: “No you’re not, you’re
just standing there, let’s go!”
Ben: (after a few more
seconds of standing half-nude then finally pulling his pants up) “I was waiting
for the jiggle. I always wait for the jiggle then I can pull my pants up.”
And then he demonstrated “the
jiggle” which appeared to be a full body twitch that apparently all men have
when finished taking care of business. The discussion about the jiggle was so
nonchalant, I had no idea how to respond, so I didn’t, just smiled and then of
course ran to tell my own mom about it! It never fails, as soon as I start to think
that I’ve got this parenting thing under control, a statement jumps out of
Benji’s mouth that makes me question how I’m ever going to raise a boy! It also
seems like statements like this always happen when daddy isn’t present. I’m
quite positive that Adam would have had the perfect response to “the jiggle.”
